I know I’m different.
I also know a few people who either aren’t going to understand what I’m about to share and others that won’t agree with me. This is my story and how I have felt for as long as I can remember.
I’m convinced I came out of the womb with a basketball in my hands. It was a gift I was beyond lucky to discover and even luckier that I loved it as much as I do. From the fourth grade on, I played competitively on every team possible: basketball, volleyball, softball, and soccer.
Athleticism was my thing.
I was the epitome of what was referred to at the time as a “tom-boy”. Because, you know, girls weren’t supposed to be good at these things, much less love them the way I did/do. Every weekend there was at least one game or tournament I played in. One would think I would have a lot of friends with all of these teams.
Yeah, we were teammates.
I don’t really think so…
What does that really mean for a kid that didn’t feel like they fit in?
What does friends mean for someone that felt different from such a young age?
Don’t take that the wrong way, please.
By different, I don’t mean better.
I mean different than what the norm was that I felt surrounded by.
Could I have had friends that I hung out with outside of practices or games?
Ok, I had a few.
Two that come to mind immediately.
Two friends from when I was 5 years old until I was 18 that I can vividly remember.
I don’t know how or why…I just know, like I’ve been saying, I am different.
I used to hate it.
I remember what it felt like on Monday’s hearing all the giggles about the sleepover all the cool kids had after our game. I remember how I felt pretending like it didn’t bother me or even better yet, claiming ignorance and pretending like it didn’t happen.
Don’t get me wrong; I had a great childhood.
But I have known that I am different for a VERY long time.
I don’t hate it anymore.
What makes me feel different drives me every single day to grow and get better. To push myself and face my fears. I want to achieve and do things no one else has before. In order to do that I need to embrace this voice that I have heard deep down inside of me for so long, which brings me to tears just typing/thinking about it, because it scares me.
The unknown of what tomorrow could bring and the fear of failure…
But I am beyond determined to continue to push and strive to define my purpose in order to make a positive lasting impact, because that’s what this little voice has been trying to scream at me for years.
I hope you can take this as more than just words and find the courage to listen to your little voice and #DareToBe,